When I started up The older one scrolls online Last week I wasn’t expecting to enter a major player-created parkour competition, but life can be strange this way. So I ran and jumped like a crazy orc in the Vivec City shopping center The older one scrolls online.
You know how some people floss and brush just before and just after a dentist appointment and then gradually go back to their terrible hygiene routine? That’s how I play The older one scrolls online. I do it for a few days and then gradually stop playing until the next time I see a cool video about Skyrim or a fun one oblivion Mod on Twitter. I never uninstall it and I always wait to come back.
This start-and-stop approach means I haven’t made as much progress as others over the same amount of time. When a player came into the open zone chat and offered 30,000 gold to everyone who could win their “Parkour Challenge”, I was very interested. After all, I was broke and had to expand my bank storage. To take part in the Hardcore Parkour Challenge, I went to the market near Morrowind’s Vivec City and typed “X” into the chat. That brought me a group invitation and the competition began.
Velas Gravewalker was the person who ran the whole thing. They had climbed into a strange place above the market entrance. To win, you just had to climb it. That’s it. The first would get 30,000 gold, the runner-up 20,000 and the third 10,000. Just right? Not correct!
The Elder Scrolls Online is an MMORPG that was not developed for the platform at all. Moving around is okay when you’re grinding in a field or clearing a large open dungeon. But using the same motion controls for “parkour” is a bloody nightmare. Jumping and running feel too heavy and too floating at the same time. When you jump, your character can get stuck on anything, including invisible walls and ledges. And guess what? THE is filled with the stuff. Usually it’s no big deal that all of the decorations and random boxes are terrible platforms to climb onto. But it gets extremely annoying and frustrating when you try to do parkour.
When I started there were only two other players, but that soon grew to a dozen or more people trying to advance to Gravewalker. It was hard to count because I was too focused on winning and everyone was jumping around like we were being attacked by invisible wasps.
A sample was created about 10 minutes after the start of this competition. People would gather in one area, like a box near a table, and throw themselves on it until someone else made a little progress from a different starting point. Then the herd rushed over there and tried their luck against another random prop.
Eventually two players managed to get Gravewalker’s seat. In the chat, someone mentioned something about the usefulness of a mount, which of course resulted in a dozen players trying to ride their horses on walls, boxes, and market stalls. It was a madhouse and I was just as wild as the others. I wanted the gold. Even though I would only get 10,000 for third place, I wanted it. No I needed it!
I’ve developed a strategy. I would wait for the crowd of jumping players to move to a new location and then I would test an area and try to hide my progress. Soon my horse and I found a spot near the fabric crafting table that worked. At this point, Gravewalker raised third place to 15,000 as no one appeared to have come close to the summit. I think you didn’t see me!
After several unsuccessful attempts to jump off scaffolding onto the wall connected to the gate where Gravewalker was standing, I succeeded. I was close. I could taste this gold. (It tasted funny, like your fingers smelling after you held coins.) I slowly and carefully got off my horse and began to move across the thin wall.
Gravewalker eventually noticed me as did the two previous winners who were now emotional from above. You cheered me on. They also told me not to screw it up while I was this close. I’ll be honest, I appreciate the cheers, but I didn’t need the reminder that I was so close and still could lose everything. And behind me I saw other players mount their horses the same way I did. The secret was out. And now if I fell here I wouldn’t win anything and an asshole elf would take the prize I deserve.
After slowly moving towards Gravewalker for 10 minutes, I reached the top of the gate. Success! I jumped around! I danced a little. And I even thought of jumping off to run to the bank and wait for my prize. Good thing I didn’t because after partying like an asshole for a minute, Gravewalker reminded me that I hadn’t won yet: to win, I had to touch him. My body was full of fear. I crawled a few feet closer and crossed my character model with his, which is as close to the touch as can be in an MMO.
Success again! I had won. A few moments later, 15 carat gold landed on my account and the group broke up. I jumped from the gate and ran to the bank, set up my bed and sat down on the leftover gold. Maybe I’ll contribute it to a campaign Eradicate Silt Striders.
This strange episode was a great moment for me and a reminder that the best part about MMOs isn’t necessarily the massive robberies or weird quests, but the people you encounter. Even though, like me, you spend most of your time doing solo quests, you will still encounter other players. Inhabiting a world that is full of random people to meet with is always a nice thing. But in 2021, if the pandemic continues, it will take additional response, and I’m glad I got into this random, weird “parkour” challenge.