Every Pokemon is interesting and worth talking about. I don’t play a lot Pokémon, but I enjoy the universe and I love learning more about the creatures in it. So here’s another Pokemon! It’s coffing!
Average Height: 2 ’00 “
Average weight: 2.2 lbs.
First added in Generation I.
I had a boyfriend, let’s call her … Alfred. They were nice, funny, and a bit of an asshole at times. In other words, a boring, average person. But they had a strange quirk. If you scared them or if they got overly nervous, they would fart. It happened often enough that it was a thing and it was fun. Little did I know at the time that my friend “Alfred” was the human version of the lovable, floating garbage boy Koffing from the Pokemon universe.
Koffing is a 1st generation original. A bonafide classic. It’s guy too Kotaku Writer Ian Walker Favorite Pokemon. He actually suggested Koffing for this week’s installment Here’s another Pokemon. He also asked me, “Please be nice to [his] Son. “So let’s start with the positives of this poisonous ball of gas and poison! It has a great smile and a great, fun design that is simple but instantly recognizable.
Okay, Ian doesn’t read the rest.
According to Pokedex entries listed on BulbapediaKoffing loves rubbish. Especially raw, rotting rubbish. It hangs in junk yards or near dumpsters. It feeds on the nasty vapors and stores them in its large, round body. These fumes make it float and also shoot them out of its many holes. And like my friend, when Koffing gets excited or nervous, he shoots out even more toxic gas than normal. When inhaled by humans, this gas can cause tears in the eyes, coughs, and runny nose.
Not to be mean to Ian’s boys, but koffing is probably a piece of shit that supports global warming. All of this delicious, nasty, and terrible pollution is like a giant candy store to Koffing. I mean, it shouldn’t shock you that koffing is bad considering it literally has a skull on its stomach. But I still love that smile. Enjoy the end of the world koffing. You will probably enjoy it more than my farting friend “Alfred”.
- After some Pokedex entriesIf koffing gets too hot, it can expand and explode without warning.
- As you’d expect, koffing smells like shit. This is what happens when you consume toxic gases from junk yards.
- Another Pokedex entry mentions that it can explode even with the “slightest stimulation”. Uh … maybe you won’t catch this one, guys! (Apologies to Ian.)
Best comment from last week
“Well, in fact, the terrible flower only refers to Eternal Floette, a zombie raised by an old 10 foot king who started a great war to bring his Floette back to life. (Meow, that’s right!)
Normal floettes carry normal flowers. “
Did I misunderstand that? Nobody knows!
(I did. I’m sorry. But in my defense … I included a fun video. And really, that’s all that matters when you think about it.)
Here’s another Pokemon is a weekly look inside a Pokemon and how weird, disturbing, silly, or cool it is, and why. Catch new entries every weekend and Click here to see all of the past Pokémon we’ve covered.